welcome to emotional feelings, too....

comfort

calm
capable
care
carefree
careless
cautious
centered
challenged
cheerful
clarity
close
comfort
committed
compassionate
complacency
concern
confidence
conflict - conflicted
confusion
connected
considerate
contentment
controlled
convicted
courage
curiosity

nowhere within the emotional feelings network of sites is any opportunity for me to make any profit from any of the 28 + sites within this network. this network of sites has been put together as a personal mission to help others by informing those who need information concerning mental health, eating disorders, lifestyle factors, and every other topic listed within

navigational hint: all underlined link words open up a new window instead of changing your present one, taking you to another site within the emotional feelings network of sites - or to another site referencing the underlined link word!

welcome to the emotional feelings network of sites

 It's very important that you visit the next page: keeping in touch!
 
Reason being: If you're here because you're searching for an answer to your feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feeling sick, or just general feelings of misery in your life - you need to find a volunteer opportunity that you feel comfortable with.
 
For a life changing listen - click here - it's truly life changing and something we all need to listen to. It does take some time to listen to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, but you won't regret it.
 
You can help yourself by helping others. You might not think so; but it's true. Find something you can do to help some worthy causes. "Keeping in Touch" will show you some important causes that need you!
 
Why not just click here now to get it over with! So even if you leave this site after finding some information concerning an emotion or feeling... you'll also leave with the seed of thought concerning volunteer work that might produce some results bringing you a sense of accomplishment & find yourself feeling better!

remembering september eleventh
forever free: remembering september eleventh
forever & always

Your dictionary definition of:
 
com·fort   
tr.v. com·fort·ed, com·fort·ing, com·forts
  1. To soothe in time of affliction or distress.
  2. To ease physically; relieve.
n.
  1. A condition or feeling of pleasurable ease, well-being & contentment.
  2. Solace in time of grief or fear.
  3. Help; assistance: gave comfort to the enemy.
  4. One that brings or provides comfort.
  5. The capacity to give physical ease & well-being: enjoying the comfort of my favorite chair.

click here to visit anxieties 101 homepage!

5 years ago I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, depression & I was also experiencing an eating disorder that no one knew anything about; night eating.
 
While I was miserable in experiencing all the symptoms of post traumatic stress, an anxiety disorder & depression - which often accompanies anxiety disorders; I was overjoyed in finally finding out what was wrong with me!

welcome!

Why would someone spend 1000's of hours designing & keeping up these websites to offer free information to others?

I have to reply - "You're absolutely right! It does take many, many hours each day to work on these sites. I'm a mother, a wife & an individual who has tons of personal work to do as well as the usual family responsibilities!
 
How would I find the time?
 
Why do I do it? I use the opportunity to combine my own recovery - personal growth journey with an important concept that I've made a commitment to:
 
"Helping yourself thru helping others..." 
 
I was so excited when after years of searching for the answer to my everyday question, "What's wrong with me?" that I felt determined to show others that if you don't quit & you know the path to take, you can find your answers as well!

welcome!

My immediate concern was "mental health." While I didn't know what was wrong with me, I did have one medical specialist tell me that my physical pain was due to a "mental problem."

 
I didn't quite understand it all, I was wallowing in many different symptoms of mental illness like panic attacks, severe anxiety & finally my eating disorder symptoms of waking up numerous times in the night to eat.
 
Just as you may have seen recently on either public service television commercials for depression or in your doctor's office waiting room; mental illness can manifest itself in physical symptoms that include many sources of discomfort. I was also experiencing the symptoms of "irritable bowel syndrome," that had started early on in my life.
 
So I started with the mental health site that now exists within the network:
 
 
(be sure to read the following description)

it's time to put the frosting on the cake!

I've reached a point in my own personal recovery & growth journey that I believe I can describe accurately most of the emotions & feelings within the emotional feelings network of sites without using any information from anyone else.
 
But since the ruination of the "extremely emotional" site - I had to stop & ask myself - remembering to be aware & mindful of what's happening in my present moment -
 
"Why did this happen to me?" (the unreasonable ruin of my site, of course!) 
 
or - Choosing to seek a positive return for a negative energy passing my way - what would the positive ramifications be of having to go through every single page of a network of 28+ sites to delete the links to my ruined site?
 
Geez... now that I think of it... I've asked myself that question quite a few times before... "Why did this happen to me?" & I searched & searched for an answer, wasting time & positive energy on something very simple... Life is what's happening. Just look to find the positive about it instead of the negative
 
This is what I am looking for now in all aspects of my life. I'm looking for the "positive" reasons things happen. I remember what I've learned from my past to be prepared to have to confront negativities with my re-gained "power & control" on my side now instead of the enemy; but I choose now to look upon the face of countenance instead of upheaval.
 
After pondering a few days on this subject, while going through every page of the emotional feelings site - here - to unlink all the emotion & feelings words "s" thru the end of the alphabet - I realized something magnificent.
 
"This is my opportunity to take the time to check ALL linked words to be sure they're being directed to the correct places. This is my opportunity to re-check spelling & grammar. This is my opportunity to try to express in my own words - the most meaningful knowledge I've recently acquired!
 
I'll write what I've learned about the whole cake, almost 6 years of growth - not just reveal a the first piece of the cake! - I still offer other author's works to explain situational inferences to emotions & feelings!
 
I'll try to the best of my ability to explain the importance of every emotion & feeling. I'm honored you chose the emotional feelings network of sites to visit!
 
kathleen

Important notice:

 
is coming along.
 
it's the replacement site for extremely emotional!
 
thanks for your continued patience with me as it takes so long to re-establish all the underlined link words as well as building a new site!
 
kathleen

send me an email anytime!

click here to send me an e-mail!

dividing the truths about calm

welcome! to emotional feelings, too!
 
after looking things over here at emotional feelings, too, try out "the layer down under," (part of the emotional feelings network of sites) & read a special "i just gotta say it" column concerning porn addiction by clicking here! Be sure to scroll down towards the bottom of the right hand column to find it!
 
Visiting the homepage is a great idea as it offers the complete concept of the emotional feelings network of sites! You can also read this month's "I've just gotta say it!"

read, "i've just gotta say it!"
click the box below to read i've just gotta say it
click the box below!!!!

click here to go there now!

 
 click here!  Bob Woodruff: Turning Personal Injury Into Public Inquiry click here!
 
I was personally very touched by this inspiring story as I watched it on television last night (2/27/07); especially after I experienced a life altering injury which took me 2 years to recover from.
 
What I want to ask you is...
If you can't help out with the helmets, below for our military men, can you volunteer or help our returning soldiers who are recovering with extreme traumatic brain injury?
 
Here are some links!
Check them out, I know that my family will be searching for a way we can help! Those experiencing traumatic injury may develop problems with their mental health.
 
 
 

What is Operation Helmet?

Founded in 2003 by Dr. Robert H. Meaders whose grandson is an active duty Marine in Iraq, Operation Helmet is a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to providing safer helmet pad upgrade kits to the troops in Iraq & Afghanistan. To date, more than 6,000 kits have been shipped to the troops in the field.

click this bar to visit the website...
click this bar to learn more about helping ....
you can help our troops!
click the bar above to visit the site!

How this site works best for you!
 
You'll notice that there are many underlined link words in each article below. The reason for this is that you have reached not only, "emotional feelings, too," but the emotional feelings network of sites. There are many sites included within the network that'll be visited by clicking on these underlined link words.
 
The reason for this opportunity is very simple & yet you may be unnerved by all those underlined words! I've been in recovery from post traumatic stress disorder, depression & many other dysfunctional ventures & thru it all I've discovered that emotion & feeling work may be the missing link that many people miss when trying to find solutions to their problems.
 
Developing a sense of curiosity about why you feel the way you do, is essential in finding the solution you so desperately are searching for.
 
If you can't find what you came here looking for, visit the homepage for the emotional feelings network of sites by clicking above & read the options on the homepage for the networks index of sites. Try to be specific when looking for an emotion or feeling word & click on the site you need!
 
It's very simple & very interesting to follow your way thru the layers of your buried or stuffed emotions & feelings that have accumulated throughout the years!
 
when you've reached this point, or this website, you know you're making progress!!!! this part gets difficult because now is the time to look within & become emotionally honest with yourself!!!
 
Best of luck & if you're still stuck, send me an e-mail anytime, by clicking here & I'll be glad to send you an immediate personal response!
 
Sincerely,
Kathleen

dividing the truths about calm

calmly dividing the information

Comforting Ourselves: More than Self-CareSelf-Healing By Cathryn Bond Doyle

 

A flash of insight came to me last December as I sat with a married couple working hard to “own” their own stuff so they could love each other more deeply.

 

The purpose of this article is to explain what happened, expand on the comparison between self-care & self-comfort & then to offer ways we canComfort Ourselveswith the hope that it triggers lots of “Ah Ha”s & insights for you.

 

I listened, as they got brutally honest with themselves & each other. In short, in the process of untangling events & feelings of the past few months, the young woman discovered that underneath her anger with her husband (for not doing certain things she wanted him to do) was jealous of his ex-wife & underneath that jealousy was a fear that she was going to lose him.

 

Going deeper, she was somewhat surprised to discover a belief that no matter how she looked or what she did, she was just not lovable. As she reflected on this newfound knowledge, she wept.

 

It became clear to her that, at some level, she’d been hoping that her husband would be able to do enough & say enough to make her feel safe in the relationship, yet as they talked she also realized that no matter how many times he had indeed told her & showed her how much he loved her, she couldn’t & didn’t believe him.

 

She wanted him to make the fears go away by proving his love with this action or that behavior & she realized she’d been testing him as well. In that moment of awareness; she also realized that she'd been blaming him for not giving her something that she wasn’t even giving herself.

 

She was the only one who could give herself what she so desperately wanted…the ability to accept that she was truly lovable & to believe that her husband really did love her.

 

As we sat there with this major league “Ah Ha” it was amazing & wonderful to watch the awareness, the feelings, the forgiveness & the compassion that flowed between the two of them. She apologized for all the times she’d been angry with him.

 

She was so sorry for all the times she blamed him for her pain. He apologized for not having compassion or patience for the pain she’d been experiencing.

 

Fortunately, her husband was instantly supportive. His next reaction was visible relief. He explained he felt a wave of relief because he knew he was no longer going to have to feel the pressure of trying to overcome his wife’s inner insecurities.

 

HE knew he loved her & was hopeful that now she would believe that. They both visibly relaxed & the love they shared was almost palpable.

 

For the next hour we talked about ways she could calm & nurture her own fears & how her constant self-assessment needed to shift from cruelly critical to comforting.

 

As she talked, her voice softened & she said, in a somber moment of self-revelation, “Oh my gosh, I need to comfort myself.”

 

As soon as she used the word “comfort” it felt like a huge light bulb went on inside me. I realized that self-comforting was quite different from the more commonly discussed practice of self-care.

 

We grabbed a dictionary & found the following:

 

To comfort (v) is “to soothe in time of grief or fear.”

 

To care (v) is “to be concerned or interested.”

 

We talked about how self-care deals with ways we can help ourselves & that self-comfort is more about ways we can heal ourselves. With all the talk about self-care & how it helps us, I realized that we need to add another option when under stress…the gift of self-comfort.

 

There are clearly times for self-care & all the ways we can “do” things for ourselves. However in that one conversation, we had just discovered a place for self-comfort which seemed much more about new ways to “be” with (rather than “do” for) ourselves.

 

We know how to comfort others. It was profound to realize that we also have the ability to bestow our instinctive & powerful tender loving care on ourselves. We were now only a conscious choice away from this healing force. So, how do we know when to apply self-care vs. self-comfort? Let’s look briefly at both approaches.

 

Self-care: A Daily Choice

 

The concept of self-care has been around for a while & thankfully seems to be catching on as an integral part of a healthy lifestyle. We’ve come a long way since Calgon (“Take me away in a bathtub”) & L’Oreal (“I’m worth it”) introduced the idea that it was OK to do things for ourselves.

 

Most of us have mastered the art of doing for others. As we turn some of that expertise inward & do more & more for ourselves, we feel the positive impact & the people around us can see that we're less stressed & happier.

 

Our self-care strategies may take the form of:

  • a new schedule
  • a different distribution of chores
  • the introduction of new efficiency procedures or any number new or revised activities
  • It may also mean we have to have some heart-felt conversations with our friends & family.

The value of self-care is widely accepted. The benefit of self-care is the genuine confidence generated as we realize we can count on ourselves. The good news is that those of us who have created new self-care solutions can attest to the fact that it’s almost always worth the effort & it gets easier & easier with practice.

 

The thing about self-care is that it usually involves overt actions & often has impact on others. This is probably why self-care requires such courage.

 

Calling on the Power of Self-Comfort

 

One of the benefits of comforting ourselves is that it can be completely private, doesn’t require any outward action & no one even needs to know what we're doing. This makes it different from self-care & may make mastering the art of self-comfort more appealing to some.

  • What does self-comforting look like?
  • How can we comfort ourselves?  

First, look at how we comfort others. When a child is hurt or scared, how do we comfort them? When a loved one faces a tragic event or is injured, what tone of voice do we use when talking to them?

 

When someone is in great physical pain, where do we get all that patience & compassion?

 

How about the tenderness we feel when we pick up a puppy or a baby when we know they've just been frightened?

 

In all of these situations we choose to open our “comfort valves” & let the love & gentleness flow thru us.

 

We're healing as we do this & at some level, we know that. The suggestion here is that we give ourselves permission to feel those feelings towards ourselves.

 

Let’s decide, right here, right now, that we deserve the benefits of our own support. No one ever needs to know. Just make that choice from moment to moment.

 

Next, we can begin to monitor our self-talk. Look for opportunities to talk to ourselves silently in a gentle & calming voice. “Hey, everything is going to be OK. You're going to figure this out. You’re really a good person. You can do this.”

 

Let’s talk to ourselves until we feel better. Sadly, some people even have trouble imagining this kind of self-talk. This may be a new skill: a skill worth every once of effort.

 

In the terrific book “Excuse Me: Your Life is Waiting.” by Lynn Grabhorn, she introduces the concept called “tender-talk.” I don’t know if she invented the term but reading her book brought it to my attention.

 

She talks about how harsh most of us are with ourselves & how detrimental that is to our health, happiness & daily mood. So many of us have super-critical inner judges who lambaste us at the slightest thing. Well, let’s make the decision to fire any & all inner critics & decide to, as the dictionary says; “soothe ourselves in times of grief or fear.”

 

Another way we can comfort ourselves is by honoring our deepest feelings & giving ourselves what we need emotionally. Emotions are timeless. Experiences leave scars & wounds & distorted beliefs about ourselves.

 

When something happens that triggers an uncomfortable feeling, rather than reacting outwardly, it would be self-comforting to take a few moments to figure out what's really going on so we can decide how to help ourselves.

 

It’s a time to get curious with ourselves just like we would if a child comes home crying & there’s no visible evidence of a cause for the tears. We launch right into comforting mode.

 

Almost automatically we’d begin asking questions until we understand what’s happening.

 

The loving comfort just seems to come naturally. Try this approach with yourself next time someone or something pushes one of your “hot buttons.”

 

In the session described at the beginning of this article, the wife realized she was continually telling herself that she had reasons to doubt her husband’s love & yet the truth was she didn’t believe she was lovable. That was a belief. Whose responsibility is it to change or heal that?

 

It's, of course, the wife’s job. Once she realized that all the blaming & hurt & angry feelings were distractions to avoid her own painful wounding belief (that she felt unlovable), she went to work. She began talking, out loud, to that part of her who longed to believe she was lovable. It was powerful & touching to witness.

 

There are some good books out there about healing the inner child & healing wounds from the past. As we uncover the underlying beliefs we're holding about ourselves, many of these wounds can be healed by the conscious decision to have a new belief.

 

As the wife began speaking gently, telling herself that she was lovable, (like she would have talked to a friend in the same situation), she began to feel better almost immediately. After a month of this effort, she has discovered she's much more relaxed. She feels free of the anxiety of losing the focus of her love (husband, parents, friends) for the first time in her life.

 

She has begun to source her own comfort thru her actions & her positive, nurturing & private self-talk. Look how positively she has changed her future by having the persistence & courage to get to the bottom of their relationship stress.